Answers to the Universe and Everything

Dear Family

Still no Photos - Camera Problem--although I think I've belabored that point.

Christmas is in less then a week, which is weird because I swear that Halloween was yesterday, but anyway. Expect a call from me sometime on Christmas Day, kthx. I'm not skyping, though we have permission. Why? I hate Skyping almost as much as I hate jeans.

What was the weirdest thing that happened this week.

This is more just a funny/feel good thing, but it also was pretty weird. We went to dinner and were sitting around the table afterwards. One of the daughters was running around the table and climbing on the back of our seats, where we would grab her and keep her there for a second or two. It
was great fun. She runs behind my chair and I snag her arms and keep her from running. I let her go and she runs off. Her mom calls her into the kitchen and she runs in, saying: "I couldn't get away because his muscles were so strong!!!" It came from a 3 year old, yes, but it was still pretty happy.

What was the thing that made you the happiest?
We went to zone conference this week, up in willow. It lasted all day, and was amazing. We talked about using the Christmas message to greater effect, especially through this season. At the end, I broke out my Ocarina and some
of the missionaries started crying in happiness. They, as well as President/Sister Beesley all broke out cameras and recorded me. It was pretty awesome.

Tell us about the clothing that you are wearing and how many layers to keep warm.
It's me, come on. I wear my shirt and my rain jacket. I wear my underwear and my pants. I wear my socks and my shoes/boots, depending on the temperature. If it's warmer, I wear my boots for the waterproofing. I wear
my skullcap and gloves when we're going to be outside for longer than a few minutes at a time. On service days, I wear my Heck-spawned Jeans (no, they haven't gotten any better) and my hoodie, boots, gloves and hat. I normally
wear one layer of clothes and am quite warm therein. On the really, really cold days (-10 or below; we haven't had one in several weeks) I wear thermal legs under my pants. Besides that, no changes. I'm still wearing short sleeved white shirts under my rain jacket.

Your typical day is like what?

I'm sending you a planner so you can see. Don't lose it. A typical day is filled with dropped appointments and people canceling and a lot of study.

I love my mission so much. It makes it better that I have great people at home who are backing me up, Except for those people who don't send me email addresses, despite me asking for them repeatedly and frequently (I'm
looking at you with my stern face, cousins)

Is Sister Darcey seriously not able to keep her diet???? This is not good at all. I like her hair, and would rather it stay upon her head.

Speaking of people in the Stake, you need to look up Elder Lee, of the Brook Hollow Ward. He's been out here 20 months and is my Zone Leader. Works with the Hmong speaking people. Turns out we never met before getting sent out here, yet we're in the same stake. He's awesome, so you need to find and speak with his family. kthx.

Not much more to say, seeing as I'll be taking to you in a few days. Love to all, Prayers to all, and I'll see you in 669 days. (Honestly, I'm not counting on purpose.)

Hugs, Elder Darcey

The Christmas Riddle

Dear Family and Friends,

I'm sorry. I can't do this anymore.

I've been up here for one full transfer, and I can't take any more of this.
I'm done. I've had no success up here, and I can only blame myself.

I can't focus anymore. Everything just seems blurry and unreal. I've tried
going from different angles, ideas, everything. Nothing works. Everything
is so beautiful, but I can't see it anymore.

I know that I shouldn't be comparing, but it's so hard to be
so unsuccessful while everyone around me is doing so well with their
efforts. We both approach something the same way, but they always end up
with something incredible and inspiring while I just fail miserably.

Every day I've tried harder. I strive to work harder, longer, smarter.
Nothing is helping. I try a variety of different ideas and attitudes,
but everything fails.

The worst part is that I'm completely alone in this. No one else is having
the same problem as I. There isn't anyone who I can relate with, or even
anyone who can empathize with me.

It's with a heavy heart that I write this, but you all need to know what
I'm feeling.

I've spoken with my companion at great length regarding this, and he agrees
with me. I've spoken to the Zone Leaders and other members of the district
and they also have the same recommendation. Finally, I've talked to
President Beesley and he, after considering with me, has come to the same
answer.

I'm telling all of you now that I can't go another day out here and am
coming home...

Elder Darcey

...unless... Read the next letter to figure out what he may be talking about. And what Dia and Derick didn't read until later in the day. Elder Darcey must have a death wish and he may still be on the Hong Kong Hit List for weeks to come. Read Sister Darcey's heartfelt response here.

Christmas Riddle PART II

Yup, I'm coming Home...

...unless I can get a new camera.

[Google *Troll Face* and insert the image here please, mother]

Were you thinking of something else?

Got you! I still love it up here, and the mission goes great; I just need a
new Camera. There are such beautiful things up here, but I can't get
pictures of any of them. Do you realize that my camera can only take
4 mega-pixel shots?

Ridiculous. Anything with a flash becomes static and unreal, and anything
without is blurry and dark. If I'm going to make it through Alaska (I'm not even in the beautiful areas yet) I'm going to need a better camera. I realize I told you all that I didn't need one, and that I could make it with my decade old, piece of junk, but that was then, this is now. It first hit me when I was taking pictures of the temple last week. I couldn't get
good shots (I'm even using *good *very broadly here. Here, I define good as: not blurry, not dark, and not something my father would be embarrassed to even look at: {"That's not my son! No child of mine could take such worthless pictures!"}) to save my life, while everyone else was getting these beautiful pictures, even without flash, in the dark; however they took them, they ended up great. I can only take video for a minute at a time, and it takes thirty seconds to save so I can take another. It takes ten seconds to recharge the flash.

So, my question: Should I just get a camera up here, or can I get you all to send me a better one? I can be
pretty patient, so long as I know not to get one because another is on the way. It would be pretty embarrassing to buy one, only to have another show up in the mail the next day. So, please get back to me on that.

ANYWAY...

I was happy to get Christmas packages from Mom and Aunt/Uncle Jan/Tom and the Atkinsons and Braydon (soon again to be Elder) Gardner. No, I didn't wait until Christmas to open them. NO REGRETS. When on a mission, It doesn't make sense to not use something that might be of value to you right then.

That said, thanks for the cookies and crackers and pretzels and the tie and the Reeses (Atkinsons, did you actually individually wrap all the reeses you sent me??) and the dancing flower and penguin (they just make me depressed, to tell the truth. They haven't moved since I got them.) and the CTR ring (AMAZING) and the mixes and the popcorn and the hot chocolate and the food and the letters.

(Connor Atkinson: I give up. I've been trying nonstop to make your invisible ink visible, and I've got nothing. Water, nothing. Heat, nothing. Water and Heat, nothing. Saliva, nothing. Light, nothing. Fire, nothing. I give up. Please tell me how to visible-ize your letter to me.)

Unless, it too is a joke.

(Brock, Thank you for telling me nothing about Skyward Sword. That lack of knowledge made my day. Continue to not tell me anything and there will be Northern Light pictures for you, assuming I get a better Camera.)

(Cami,Thanks for telling me the date of your Endowment. I could go through the temple with you in my mind. The only problem was that you didn't tell me which temple to go through, so I got lost in my mind somewhere between
Idaho Falls and St. George. Please Advise)

(Mati! You're doing so good and you're not engaged and that makes me happy! I'll get back to you later as
soon as I get envelopes!) and all the other things I forgot to mention. I'm sending you a package myself, so I'll send it as soon as I confirm the locale.

Hugs, Elder Darcey